Doors of perception:chat rooms

I will write about my perception of chat.It won't be asthetically beautiful, nor it would be skilfully gloved in sarcasm.It would be raw and brutual.It would be as raw as rotten carcass.I hope you'll not read it.If you do..well, you are free to hate/love me.

I was told to explore chat by my shrink.She is a lovely women who thinks that since I am living in the real(??) world, I should learn to wear masks as people do.It's a social measure and something which differentiates us from animals,those were her views.She often told me that I should better learn to cope with the world as it is,rather than try banging my head against my idealistic idea if how it SHOULD be.I really like my shrink.She is just sooo learned.But well..I am so me.She told me that people have to smile when they don't want,say 'i love you' when they want to say 'go fuck yerself' cuz it's important to maintian social structures and their own images.She gave me the idea that probably in chat when we are sitting behind a terminal..'they' can be real.I thought of giving it a try.I was disappointed at first.Now it's amusing.I guess it happens when you've grown numb, or cynical.

I have met some wonderful people in here,I have to admit.Keshi and pink_gurl were my first buddies in chat.I can easily sift thru the witless- sexstarved- sadists that abound in chat and see the 'real' ppl.They are such a rarity.In real life as well.They were the first people who I found were real.Then I like Mallika(whom I call fondly call Mili),She's one treasure too.So young and so talented.And yeah so sweet.I like Tina as well.Sometimes though she makes me think that she's my friend,just cuz she doesn't wanna hurt my feelings.It disturbs me and disgusts me.She might not be at all like that,but well...I always liked misty_lilac.She would address me when i'd enter the room "ash_b1" and i'd always reply 'hey misty_lilac(waves)'.Sometimes that was the only thing we conversed with each other(if ya discount "how are ya?" "fine" formalities).She still is someone I like.axls_babe is another fav. of mine.She talks music with me.She makes me feel that I 'belong'.I like roz..,she would always ask me 'how am i?'..and it always was a genuine inquiry.Dove is another one my favs.She would say so little.But she gives friendly vibes.She's such a sweetheart.There's one more who calls herself-- noone.She's one really funny one.She makes me smile everytime I meet her.And then i like Sebia.She is arrogant and talented.Moody and sweet.She reminds me of myself in some ways( the 'moody' and 'arrogant' part).She's one of my favs. too.

Among the men I like dilbert and footloose_slinger.I disliked both of them initially.Dilbert was less of a pain in the ass,but the first image i had in mind for footloose was pretty ugly.I thought of him as a loser, a bum who took pleasure in tormenting ppl with his profanities cuz he didn't have any soul.I changed my views on him.He is a wonderful humanbeing who just sometimes acts like an asshole.I like him.Dilbert is my fav. male most days.He is witty and dignified.I like 4u2nv too.He's a fellow aussie and a friend of Keshi.I like him for his innocence.He's a good person.There are people who don't give a fuck about me and I still like 'em.adorable is one such person.I respect that man.

I would now pour my venom on those I hate.I would not mince words.I'll start with females...The first would be _29fmiami.She's the female version of footy(his INITIAL image i.e)She really seems to me to be a girl who is attracted to asswipes who'd suck upto her.She has no decency and no sense of burying the hatchet.She can rot in hell,for all i care.I have an acute distaste for all the 'muaah' kinda chicks.goondidoc is at the top of the charts of those types.She prolly just lacks intelligence.She can be forgiven.I never shout at her.I just iggy her.She prolly gets on chat when she's had an overdose of valium.And then there are innumberable who fall into either of these kinds.There is filth all around.

I'll come to men now.I have no sense of being a 'blessed' one as Sebia has.I think .virus(or vix or susu if they're the same person) is just too disgusting and horrible.People like him make me hate humanity even more.Atleast for my insane chaos I have a reason .I know I am not 'sane'..manic-depression is eating my soul,but guys like him who are 'sane' and probably not under any meds or shirnk..are a threat to society(not that i give a flying fuck about society..you deserve each other),but for other sensitive ppl who sometime fumble into chat for some peace,i worry for them.

There are so many more.The homies of him and many more..i just can't remember the nicks.I just wanna spit at ya'll.*spits*

I guess i have vented enough.I must close the article now.i LOVE you--the people who i like.and to the people I dislike---Duh!