Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Moist Clouds of Grey
My creative urges are sapping.The dim lights that used to keep my ebbing spirits from sinking into suicide and which I used to turn into writings,painting and poetry have been replaced by a sudden bright light of laziness.laziness which leaves me happy.And happiness which robs me of my creativity.I find it shocking sometimes that I can only be creative when i am melancholy.There always was a certain purity is sadness,which I find missing in happiness.Happiness is always muddled with a forboding of an unknown terror lurking behind.But i still choose to be happy rather than being in gloom everytime.I have still a long way to go before I can accept people as they are.But I am trying to mingle.And though I am drained just after a 20 min being with them(i wish I had the iggy option in real life).The cloud hangs low,laden with moisture and i can't see the sun.But yeah the light that criss crosses the grey clouds is my anchor ..is my buoy.The tumultuous waves of self destructive nihilism shake me from my light sleeps.Dreams, if they are a mirror of the subconscious ....oh! cruel trapestry of art,art thou not scurrying into oblivion.
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3 comments:
Hey Ash
Looks like gloom, melancholy, sulleness and such have taken its toll on you. I seriously think you need a break(a vacation perhaps) from all the people/things that make you frustrated and unbalanced.
Laziness leaves you happy..Yay! :) me too..sloth is my fav sin:)
"But I choose to be happy rather than being in gloom everytime" - I like this sense of positivity in you. way to go!
hey ash...melancholy and gloom are best pals of creativity...i agree. i write best when i'm distressed. but then why not leave being creative for the sad times and just live the happy times for what they are....enjoy it while it lasts ash-why worry about when its gonna go bad.....classy
Ash...happiness comes soon after sadness, and sadness comes soon after happiness...they follow each other in our entire life. We just have to be aware that happiness is around the corner whenever sadness is paying us a visit...likewise, when happiness pays her visit, expect sadness to come around soon too...they are inseperable lifetime mates.
In this material world, happiness is short lived. Nothing lasts forever...not even sadness. To gain eternal happiness, man has to work on it. So don't you worry about the people who pester you...people are meant to be like that - we are all working on gaining our eternal bliss here on Earth. During that process we make mistakes and hurt each other. Ash you have a ignore button in real life - just like in chat :) It's a mental ignore button. It's not easily accessible - you need to train yourself to use it.
I admire your writing skills where it comes out of happiness or sadness. But I've always known people who go through extreme sadness in life have always ended up writing amazing books and poems...I believe to write such stuff one need to experience the unfair hardships life offer you...
take care and brighten the dim lights so that it will last longer and continue to shed light in all of us through you...
Keshi.
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