10 Commandments

It's a tough task.For me to write something which is humourous,is as difficult as asking Pamela Anderson to get viewership with her boob job de-siliconed.I shall try however.I have been asked to write on the nuances of the dating game that I have been a part of.I have been lucky(??) to have dated handful of girls atleast.The recollection of the disasters and the obvious adventures which had gone past was amusing.I hereby present a brief summary of what I percieve girls want .I shall warn the readers of this piece that the points I assemble here aren't a gurantee of sucess with 100% of girls,there are 1% who can see through the mask.My own opinion on these points are a subject of another writeup,If i ever feel upto it that is; but what I can assure is I have seen countless girls melt by these superficial acts of wooing.With utter disgust and amusment of myself...I bring to you-

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE DATE GAME

1. Thou shalt be rich/famous or both.
A merc. and an armani suit would take ya places.But the not-born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-their-mouths kids needn't frown.The rent a car and borrowing Versace jacket from your wealthy childhood pal would be a good idea too.If she tells you that she cares a damn about money and just loves the person that is you, tell her that when you guys go out you'd be taking her out to your favourite eating joint that serves food to all the truck drivers and the-like and it gives the best value for money(your 100 rs note),you'd know the difference b/w said and unsaid words.

2. Thou shalt be goodlooking.
Yeah we know looks are relative and all that crap.So relatively speaking you have to be better looking than the girl's best friend's lover.If not..tough luck dude.

3. Thou shall seek to understand first.
Yeah thats the complete commandment.Don't even think that there is a latter part 'and then seek to be understood'.And so what if everyone says that a female is the hardest thing to understand after Theory of Relativity(some think Relativity is a the close second).

4.Thou shalt not forget.
Birthdays,anniversaries,your first meeting,the first time she said hello to you,name of her favourite flower,animal,uncle,cousin,color and the list goes on and on...

5.Thou shalt compliment profusely.
Borrow from the latest movies,songs and some ol time poets of the romantic era.The more times you say that you love her and need her more than the desert needs the rain(and don't start thinking about if deserts get the rain they wouldn't be deserts anymore and ultimately loose their identity..just say the words)

6.Thou shalt not compare.
Don't tell her how different she is from your ex or how your ex used to react/act in the same situation as hers.She would smile on the front but in her head she'd be saying 'the clown is still not over that snotty b*@#h..they deserve each other'

7.Thou shalt not bring work home.
Don't tell her how your number crunching/analytical thinking saved your company from a financial diaster.She knows that the show does go on.And she knows that you've done a good job...big deal?She herself is swimming with the sharks in the office.

8.Thou shalt not be judgemental.
So you think the dress she's wearing is too skimpy and outrageous? Get a life man,thats what the fashion channels are showing and whats more that trend is just catching on.And if on the other hand you think the dress is too old fashined..well..the old values are what one should live by.Transient fads are for shallowers.

9.Thou shalt not be jealous.
All the male friends she talks about are her 'good friends'.How narrowminded of you if you think otherwise.And if you however tell her about your female 'good friends',there must be something wrong with the world..two-timing was a thing to be ashamed of in the good ol' days.

10.Thou shalt follow the 9 commandments religiously
~Amen~