diary entry

I wrote something in my diary last night.It was read by the doctor,which was a breach of the privacy contract.But it was actually my fault,I left the diary in the open.I certainly didn't like her reading my diary and my demonstrations of rage are kinda acute.I was taken to the punishments today.My head feels tight and electric.I want to lick that feeling.Want to taste it.Electric taste on the tongue.Many colors in the brain.Am i getting any saner.I hope to God I am.Now i'll shut up and let my diary speak.

I always find myself giving too much of myself away,too much of the negative in my character... And also of that which I may perceive to be more "charming" in my illusion but really isn't all that... And when this"charm" is hence disproven I'm left feeling like a moron, but even worse, I feel revealed. As if my best,most natural efforts at entertaining have failed.
People know too much about me, and of my quirks...Sometimes I feel as if there's nothing left to reveal,no further substance. As if I am what I am and it's my all, but it's so shallow, empty. I feel as if I'm a baby's wading pool, small and ridiculous beside your ocean.