Ash Stains

I shall write in a happy mood today.I feel light and relaxed.It must be the sleep or it can be the new painting I just finished.I rarely like my work, but yeah there are times when I feel proud of myself.I have this tendency to drift into nebulous worlds of infinite spaces.I have no idea where these visions come from.They are quite unlike anything which I have seen in this world and I have travelled and seen a lot.I sometimes think that the closest I was to 'my space' was when I was in Germany.There is a neglected graveyard in the outskirts of Berlin close to an even more neglected church.I sat there under an old crumbling leafless tree gazing at the serene beauty of the graves.At the risk of sounding atrociously morbid,I must say that in that death-place I found a peace which was always eluding me in the more livelier places like the pubs and the parties.Anyone passing through the road would have been amazed at the sight of a young boy sitting alone with the stones..but they would never have imgained that the young boy was gazing beyond.Into the limitless abyss of the unknown,into the warmth of the hidden and the lap of the untravelled.
I have come to realise that my writeups sometime make people ,who really care about me, shudder in horror at the thought that I might be this manically depressed young 'un who's gonna do some harm to himself.Dear readers,my eyes mositen whenever I feel that you people have heart big enough to accomodate an unknown maverick equation like myself.I might never me in the mood of gratitude again so I just want to thank all of you in IT who care for me (in whatever way),and I want you to know that the little trust that I still have in humanity is cuz of people like you.I sound like going overboard?..I reckon.But thats the way I am.A pendulum.Swinging from one extreme to other.