Wednesday, January 26, 2005

10 Commandments

It's a tough task.For me to write something which is humourous,is as difficult as asking Pamela Anderson to get viewership with her boob job de-siliconed.I shall try however.I have been asked to write on the nuances of the dating game that I have been a part of.I have been lucky(??) to have dated handful of girls atleast.The recollection of the disasters and the obvious adventures which had gone past was amusing.I hereby present a brief summary of what I percieve girls want .I shall warn the readers of this piece that the points I assemble here aren't a gurantee of sucess with 100% of girls,there are 1% who can see through the mask.My own opinion on these points are a subject of another writeup,If i ever feel upto it that is; but what I can assure is I have seen countless girls melt by these superficial acts of wooing.With utter disgust and amusment of myself...I bring to you-


1. Thou shalt be rich/famous or both.
A merc. and an armani suit would take ya places.But the not-born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-their-mouths kids needn't frown.The rent a car and borrowing Versace jacket from your wealthy childhood pal would be a good idea too.If she tells you that she cares a damn about money and just loves the person that is you, tell her that when you guys go out you'd be taking her out to your favourite eating joint that serves food to all the truck drivers and the-like and it gives the best value for money(your 100 rs note),you'd know the difference b/w said and unsaid words.

2. Thou shalt be goodlooking.
Yeah we know looks are relative and all that crap.So relatively speaking you have to be better looking than the girl's best friend's lover.If not..tough luck dude.

3. Thou shall seek to understand first.
Yeah thats the complete commandment.Don't even think that there is a latter part 'and then seek to be understood'.And so what if everyone says that a female is the hardest thing to understand after Theory of Relativity(some think Relativity is a the close second).

4.Thou shalt not forget.
Birthdays,anniversaries,your first meeting,the first time she said hello to you,name of her favourite flower,animal,uncle,cousin,color and the list goes on and on...

5.Thou shalt compliment profusely.
Borrow from the latest movies,songs and some ol time poets of the romantic era.The more times you say that you love her and need her more than the desert needs the rain(and don't start thinking about if deserts get the rain they wouldn't be deserts anymore and ultimately loose their identity..just say the words)

6.Thou shalt not compare.
Don't tell her how different she is from your ex or how your ex used to react/act in the same situation as hers.She would smile on the front but in her head she'd be saying 'the clown is still not over that snotty b*@#h..they deserve each other'

7.Thou shalt not bring work home.
Don't tell her how your number crunching/analytical thinking saved your company from a financial diaster.She knows that the show does go on.And she knows that you've done a good job...big deal?She herself is swimming with the sharks in the office.

8.Thou shalt not be judgemental.
So you think the dress she's wearing is too skimpy and outrageous? Get a life man,thats what the fashion channels are showing and whats more that trend is just catching on.And if on the other hand you think the dress is too old fashined..well..the old values are what one should live by.Transient fads are for shallowers.

9.Thou shalt not be jealous.
All the male friends she talks about are her 'good friends'.How narrowminded of you if you think otherwise.And if you however tell her about your female 'good friends',there must be something wrong with the world..two-timing was a thing to be ashamed of in the good ol' days.

10.Thou shalt follow the 9 commandments religiously

Friday, January 21, 2005

Distorted Visions

The flutter of eyelids; drooping tired eyelids has an almost sensual movement.I feel spacey in my head light in my spirit.It has to be the Vodka in my lemonade.My eyes are beautiful.They have been called voids of infinite sadness by someone who knew me intimately.The duality of voidand infinity is beautifully demonstrative of the superficial facts of existance.I float in my own world so soft cotton clouds and feel hurt by the spikes of the rugged mountains of grim reality.I like the silence of the treetops as i linger over ya'll.If i were a giant i would have stomped ya'll from life.Death in huge numbers,would cultivate the fodder for the flowers of beauty to bloom.I would love the flowers...i just hate you all.Why don't you die? Why ..

But death is too beautiful.And beauty is not for ya'll.Rot,and rot until the carcass of your moth eaten dead body withers in the blazing sun.I shall feast and rejoice,and bath in the holy aqua of tears.

Saturday, January 15, 2005


This day is spiked with heat but no warmth can thaw my icy centre. The all-pervading emptiness reinstates its authority, focusing its intensity on what now feels like my coreless core.

I feel lost, wounded and meaningless. I can’t envision my own story. Hope seems hopeless, but a strand still says it can’t be. All dualities merge in this singular track of tears forged down my cheeks.And this salty stream may represent hope, for salt is always representative of hope, so goes the saying: “The cure for everything is saltwater – sweat, tears, or the sea.” I forget whom it’s by.

Though it reminds me of one of my own, alluding to a balsamic moon that bleeds as I thread my love through pinhole stars and weave light over darkness. Stark dualities and this strange preoccupation… A search for oneness, wholeness, Truth. Pelted with night’s dark, morbid kisses that fall like starlight but sear black holes into my soul. It’s as if Heaven had been approaching from a distance for so long – at first too long, but casting a luminous flame of hope on the horizon. As its presence neared its beauty became clearer to these eyes, but the closer it got the harder the sheer extent of the beauty was to take in. When you’re not ready for beauty so extreme, it blinds you. And so when Heaven was literally upon me, I had little choice but to stub its dreams out on my core, leaving the deepest part of myself with welting sores. Holes of gaping darkness – voids – where I had been touched by Heaven… Spaces where ecstasy and wonderment should reside.

This strain of melancholy is intrinsically pertinacious, and while I hope to be rid of it in a matter of moments I realistically consider the likely alternative; that is, a succession of days at least. My pestilential mental vacillations are certainly becoming more extreme, abrupt and lasting now that I’m older. Fuck all of that though.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Crushed Glasses

Cocooned by infinite space, these planets, these stars… these fragile fires, are but embryos formed within the womb of God. Our dark maternal universe, perpetually birthing multitudinous manifestations. Eternally renewing its hermaphroditic divinity.

I was always so preoccupied with describing the state beyond depression – the state beneath it. The most intensified emotional experience and paradoxically the least: that of emptiness, nothingness, and absence. The seemingly least significant and yet ultimately the most productive and ennobling experience of them all. To plumb the depths of that dark, downward route to Hell is to travel more deeply than one’s capacity for emotion. Hell isn’t society’s notion of pain; it’s a void, and nothingness the sharpest pain of all.

I am not scouring the ever-upward thrusting air of a never-ending pit at present. I am enduring a docile state of sorts, whereby I await oncoming storms and the tornadoes of existential vacuums with my ears sharply pricked. This fish-womb senses it in the peace of her waters before the torrent hits. I feel no reverberations at present.

Though I do feel slightly subdued. My many moods and I… Many friends, or enemies. Who knows? It’s hard to know who to trust - moods excluded. In fact I never trust my moods, they’re less reliable than most people are. It is only their flippancy that I can rely upon.