i am back.It has been a most demanding month for me.To finally feel that you've come to the end of the road and nothing but a deep pit awaits you,to suck you in.. and then to return.It's a great feeling.Something like being reborn.Am I talking like some new age Christian?. I don't know.maybe.It's not religion though,which I am talking of.And Jesus certainly didn't appear before me to tell me "Son you are gonna be saved".It's just that..fuck it.
I am sick of my anger.And its so confusing.I am the calmest of the people at times and sometimes the blinding rage grips me.Those moments are short but they are disaster.there are answers I seek.Infact I feel i know the answers,it's the lack of character in me to implement those answers which infuriates me.There is so much thats wrong in me and I am still not perfectly wrong.This is what I always wanted.Perfection.
I am having an escapist dream these days.To run to some place..some Buddhist place maybe.Tibet ..where there aren't many human beings and be a monk there.Or maybe a samurai.I don't want any attention.I am thru' with my cravings for it.I always despised attention in a way.Because they don't understand.Not those who watched the shows and shout like mad for an encore,saying"ooh Kurt Cobin/Jim Morrison's angst..",nor those who would read a poetry and exclaim "beautiful! sadly beautiful." and most certainly not those who said"ah! another young rot shouting for attention".I kinda sought the truth..maybe there are many truths.
And yeah I missed you all.
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14 comments:
so there you are. welcome back, ashes. you've been missed, too.
Always a pleasure to see you are back to writing.
FUCK !
dis is the greatest news i heard since TRANSIENCE changed her avatar
she hasnt changed much
but at least she looks human now
dont lissen to the De Vile
dont rite
enjoy life
u can rite your memoirs when u r 55
did u miss the miceeeeee?
cuz v missed u ashes
muuah
Welcome back. You were missed too. Wish you the best of new year and take care
SOMEONE HELP SABY!
Saby has been KIDNAPPED
his kidnapper is keshi!
wb.
will write u a long mail
same id?
sebiaaaaaaa! sorry eno...about the so called trick...I was just playing wid ya..wasn't gonna do on trick on ya...sorry tho..plz forgive dis mousey.
sad_mousey
ahh..akshay....haven't changed a bit have you:)well you shouldn't...
nice to have you back
transience--feels good to be back,trans.
de.vile--and always a pleasure to see you commenting.
Saby--*smiles*,I know you missed me Saby.And yeah,i did read de.viles post and your comments.Now back off her old boy,else this crazy-head gonna rip you apart.
anonymous--sure as hell I missed you(not).
Aelee--good to see you drop by.oh and the warning is --enter at your own risk..hehe
dewdrop--Happy new year to you too dewdy.
Sebia--yeah same email.
Shyamla--hehe I HAVE changed in a way.Have grown a bit more leaner.
ashes! u silly bugger u!
mouse ofcourse
Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
-Ashes
Hey guys
Janice has not visited since December 7
Janice is one of the nicest girls we have ever known
i dont want to speculate
but i do know dis
if the site is inactive for long
Blogger will pull it down
So lets keep the site alive
Do post on her site evry now and then
i do wish the annony mouses will get an id for Janice's sake
and post
she dont allow annony mouses
Why u scared of id's ?
i gott 5
and i have forgotten who i really am
--
Posted by saby to imnutsincaps at 1/30/2006 07:22:02 AM
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