Television viewing and it's sideeffects

I had a sudden insight which struck me as I was watching a video of Jimi hendrix perfom.It was a typical Hendrix song( i can't fuckin remember the name of it),by which I mean an open air Woodstock kinda outdoor enviornment,a lot of barely clothed men and women sitting on the grass and enjoying his music.There was no need for singing along or headbanging,oh fuck it they weren't even standing.It was beautiful to listen and watch and then it struck to me that I am a hippie trapped in some wrong time-zone.I really don't give a rat's ass about what people think and I am quite laid back at heart.But the fuckin trials and tribulations of the times which I live in make me edgy.It's not that I hate it completely,cuz if it was that-- i would've ended my life.There are snippets of good things which make me cling on,hoping for something MORE and BETTER.That makes me pretty average,eh?I always am disgusted with mediocrity,and I..in all my intrinsic sense,am not at all average.I am different.Not special.And thats disturbing.I wish I were different and 'special',but fuck it to hell ,I am plain and different.And it's such a shitty place to be.I hate ranting,but here I am doing just that and I don't fuckin care whosoever reads it would want to pity me.I don't want you pity..i want your love.All of ya'll.