Thursday, July 26, 2007

Shut up

I feel lonely. And I don’t like it. I don’t understand it somehow. I can’t seem to relate with people. I can’t seem to be close to them for long. My unorthodox personality attracts people towards me, out of curiosity presumably. It wears off soon and then they just leave. I feel the hurt of rejection more than others I guess. I would like to think that people are a distraction. They might be. But when they just walk away it leaves me perplexed. If only I could do that first. Be bored and leave. But I would tell them that. I would at least have the courtesy to be rude.

22 comments:

mistipurple said...

i don't like to mix much, contrary to my blog character. i have trouble understanding people, or more so, i don't understand how some people can be insensitive and rude. you are not alone in this.

De.vile said...

Hold the few that stay. They're the only ones that matter, anyways.

Keshi said...

** I can’t seem to relate with people.

then who can u relate with? tell me ash...

Keshi.

Ekta said...

hmmm well i believe that no matter how people are with u...in the end ur alone...!

mistipurple said...

we are alone, and yet, we can be so connected in blogland too. that is the irony here.

Ashes said...

mistipurple--I am rude and insensitive.But its when people are rude to ME,thats what hurts

de.vile--hold onto 'em as in chain 'em with golden chains eh? *smiles* here I handcuff you.

Keshi--I can relate with sexy-sirens like you keshi-bomb(hehe I'm in my Jack Sparrow mode,so don't mind)

ekta--who the hell are you?(kidding) and hey welcome aboard.
And oh well,define "end", and define "alone" in absolute terms and you'll see what I meant.

Jim said...

Ashes
SHUCKS

i never tot i wud see the day
u wud cry out for company

the reason u dont make friends is that u dont visit back the people who visit u

its easy to have friends
but to make friends as i do


u gotta chase dem skirts

Anonymous said...

De Vile won an award
beats me how she did it

she must have laid Sharm

Anonymous said...

another prob with u is u no too damn much

u have aged before your time
this applies to De Vile too

Ash said...

We all go through phases where we just cant relate to people around us.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

Ashes said...

jim--was missing ol' time assholes Jim.now that you are back,the world seems familiar hehe.
and btw that phase is over.

anonymous--she won an award??

anonymous--thats a correct observation.I do feel so old.But it's not that I KNOW much.I just pretend to know.The more I know,the less I know syndrome.

ash--oh well i had to visit.same name you see.

ie said...

most of the time, i badly want to leave too. but i don't. guess we're on the same side.

AVIANA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AVIANA said...

Welcome, to my little blog....

it's great to meet you...

thanx for your comments....i don't know if you intended it but you made me laugh which is something i need right now in light of the situation... :) thank you.

you and me are the same when it comes to this post....people leave me alot...i am a little different...i feel like I don't i relate with anyone

i've felt that my whole life...

i was the girl who tried to fit in with the popular crowd and then with any crowd because i was on the outside out of every group...

wasn't till recently i decided to just be me and stop trying to fit in...i attracted more people that way...of course some have left....but it does leave you feeling used and thinking what is wrong with you....i came to terms that i may just be a solitary person my whole life with a few peripheral individuals in my life....it's much easier....

i feel you... smile....you just made a new buddy...at least for now.... :)

Jim said...

i have a blog
saby bipolar
read it

Yes
i have problems too

Jim said...

Holy Shit
was that Aviana?


Maann
u really getting around these days

Keshi said...

LOL thats good then :)

Keshi.

Ashes said...

ie--welcome.and as long as you can,you gotta hang on by the threads.

aviana--thanks for all the sweet things you said.I'm not the most wonderful of friends as I am given to mood swings(it's always better to warn.I have stopped giving a damn about things for years.But on occasions I drop the shields and since I wear my self-esteem on my sleev I get hurt easily.It's good that you are comfortable in who you are.I don't even know who i really am.So i keep pretending.

Jim--I read that.
and you've got problems too as you've already mentioned before.You prolly coped better.I am trying my best.

hehe@getting around...same ol' Saby shit.

Keshi--*winks*



Jim

Keshi said...

winky winky :)

d ya know where FM is?

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Seeing others through the lenses of painful personal experiences can lead to alienation, first thing you need to do is laugh, we are all competing for validation of one kind or another and once you realize that you can relax and see it in others actions and behaviors. I know it sounds a little clinical but we really are just monkeys. Sometimes we can even be funny.
You are never really alone, I dont know you but I understand lonliness and I know it can hurt, but it is a fire that that will temper your soul not burn it.
thanks for the post

Ashes said...

keshi--nah i have no cluse where she is.

annonat--yes. I reckon you are right.It's just that in the moment,blindness occurs and all concepts are laid to waste.Some kinda instict takes over.
anyways..thanks for the visit

Keshi said...

awww :*( I miss her.

Keshi.