Thursday, May 26, 2005

End of the Night

it's tough.

It's damn tough to sleep at night.Strange recollections of whatever pasts and possible futures.Or maybe premonitions of altogther another universe.It's 3 am and i can't stop my head from reeling.I stood close the window overlooking the city for some minutes.The lights glimmered and the buildings looked distant and miniature models.On the glass window i was keeping my fingers on the small spots of lights of the distant windows and wiping 'em out of my eyes.It gave me a wicked pleasure.Those buildings were so vulnerable against me--the giant, right now.I was blotting out the lights..figuratively snuffing out the life.from the people who were behind those wondows.I spread my fingers and the whole palm on the mirror kinda cast a web around the innocent sleepy city.I soo wished to crush everything under my all powerful palm.But then i thought..i am might,for a change let me be kind.So i moved away from the window and shutted off my own lights.

And here i am sitting in front of the puter writing with boredom about the thing that made me happy for a moment and listening to a Metallica song which says ~~ and i lied last week to the mirror that i've broken to match my face~~

as i said..it's tough to sleep at night.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

well..dude....tire yourself out so much you're human a day...maybe two....three at the most....and you'll fall asleep...somethin like...workin for your sleep....sounds stupid i know...but i'm too tired to go thinkin bout the phrase i had in mind at the beginnin of my post...heh..sorry

{illyria} said...

wakefulness can be quite tiresome. i hope you find a peaceful reprieve from all that.

Keshi said...

insomnia creeps every now n then...n it's certainly not a good friend...I hope u sleep tight tonite Ash...

Keshi.

De.vile said...

Yip Yip. Windows. Feelin like God.
good lord.

sandeip said...

u know,what happens is that at times we have got to escape the lights.

and what i mean seems no longer to be clear even to me.i dearly would like to snuff out the life of someone..........lol.

honest post.very honest post.
u know what;i identify with you.not all my personality,but yeah some parts.very similar.

--pearl-- said...

lay in bed..n sing a song or sumthin. or mayb count no'z...it distracts ur thinking....coz u stop thinkin n it will b easier to sleep :)

Anonymous said...

No Comments.

Ashes said...

shyamala--smiles,yeah maybe thats the way.

transience--peaceful reprive from what?wakefulness??

keshi--i'm almost reminded of Niel Young's tribute to Kurt Cobain 'He sleeps with angels tonite'

de.vile--were you sleep deprived too when you wrote that comment?

word_smith--i hope to God,that you don't identify much like me.I am a BAD example..the only thing i agree with my parents.

--pearl--..hehe,yeah i will try an solve some mathematical problem.Will put me to sleep instantly.

anonymous--when you don't have anything to comment.don't waste yer time by writing 'no comments'

Dewdrop said...

Isnt it a glorious site to watch the city sleep?
The only momemnt sleep evades me is when Im uneasy, may be a deadline, or something went wrong, or Im trying to do something new and never know whether I will succeed, or not. Otherwise I enjoy sleeping to the envy of my folks.

I also read somewhere that sleeplessness is one of the major signs of manic depression. So help yourself and try to sleep sound

Anonymous said...

ashes masturbate.It works.

De.vile said...

Nope Im sleeping like I am unconscious. So frikin sleepy, I started sleep walkin an sleep talkin all over agin.

De.vile said...

An bout the masturbation part. I agree.

--pearl-- said...

lol i slept for 12hrs yday (durin d day) coz i was out d whole nite day b4 n den i slept perfectly for 12-13more hours :) ok..yah im a sleepyhead :)
but then ther r dayz i jus dont feel d need to sleep too...

(im guessin ur goin thru d second one :P)

De.vile said...

Ok that was supposed to be a jab at me. God im slow...

Ashes said...

dewdrop--in a way,a sleeping city is less abhorring than a rise and shine city.
yeah,you read that correct about manic-depression.

anonymous--yeah,it works.but masturbation holds facinations only for sex deprived young ones who fantasize.once you have done the 'real' thing,self-job kinda feels boring.

de.vile--sleep walking..ooh thats exotic.sleep talking is weird though.
and yeah read my preachings to anonymous@01:55 about fornication part.

--pearl--..ooh i envy you.

de.vile--*smiles*,better late than never.

Jim said...

i agree wid anony mouse
i do dat when i dont get sleep
i fantasize abt my blogg mates

then after its done i get sound sleep

Jim said...

heyyyy Ashes,
just read wat u rote on De Vile's shocking behaviour

its poetic licence
wat u rite is not realll

dont be afraid
she is not one who goes abt shocking ppl on the street

her real self is a total reverse of wat she portrays

she is as pure as a nun
and dresses dat way too
i am sure

Anonymous said...

ash
what i read made me wonder whether there was really a desire to destroy or it was a mere externalization of a self destruction instinct ...... whatever has been written appears to have been keenly felt and ur writing does justice to the feeling as always:)....classy

Jim said...

or mebbe the feeling does justice to the riting ?

or mebbe he is just an old fart like me wid time on his hands, his kids have gotten married and left home, his wife has the hottz for his chauffeur, and his dog is funky and trying to do the cat