Saturday, June 11, 2005

Before I go-go.

Well it had to be like this.They finally decided that trying to keep me with 'sane' people and wishing i'd be okay by myself is hoping for too much.Once again I am being sent to some kinda 'institution'.The underside of being born into an affluent,social snob family is that they have 'exclusive' for everything.Even asylums.So the place I will be taken to would be ultra modern and beautiful; 'for-the-super richs'.Not quite the thing they showed in 'One flew over cuckoos nest'. Not even 'Girl,Interrupted' kind.My doctor tells me it would be very much like a home.Hehe she had a Freudian-slip at that( a term I learnt from her).An asylum-a Home.I won't be missing mom and dad there,I'm sure.
My doctor still thinks that I might harm myself if I am left alone to myself.She has to be right,after all the certificates she gathered from universities in France and elsewhere are sufficient proof that if she declares someone 'depressive and given to violent self-destructing impulses' she must be listened.And my dad always trusts univ. diplomas.
So now I would be kept in a place under close-circuits i'm sure,hawks keeping an eye on my every itch and even a pointed pen would be considered an object which could be used to harm.I might be given a computer with just enough access so that i can visit only 'safe sites'.My poems would be scrutinized for every hook and line or comma or period which might be a 'pointer for deep seated angst and rebellion'.I am ready for it all.I'm not sure if they are ready for me.
So long..if they think even blogging might be 'dangerous activity'.Otherwise I would keep blogging.And yeah my doctor tells me i'd be out in 3-4 months.Another Freudian slip i'm sure.She used the word 'out'.A jail is it? A luxurious jail? A golden cage? I asked her that.She's a cool one,i must say.She told me that it's ME who tells that the whole world is a cage,so whats the difference if the cage is golden.good retort.But oh well,i never liked golden color.I hope the walls there are white,if not purple.

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh Fuck! ashes take good care.

Anonymous said...

aw man.....i'm sure gonna miss ramblin on and on while you type "smiles" and laugh...heh nah on a more serious note...yeh i'm gonna miss talkin to you...you take care of yourself dude.....and do keep in touch if you can....i'd really like that

Anonymous said...

as usual ashes makes up shit about himself so gurls will flock to him and sympathize.

first it was cancer followed by oooo aaaaaa am gonna die. somehow he survived cancer and now he has gone insane and will be living in an asylum. asylum for liars maybe.

stop with the lies.

De.vile said...

Lemme know if I can still mail you. Or is safe sites doesnt include checking mail.

Anonymous said...

I saw Saby nude last night and I danced.He was then taking a buffalo...

Anonymous said...

ashes, I am the one who commented@ Sat Jun 11, 06:22:39 PM

I take back my words.

Good luck to u.

Bye.

sebia said...

ash..im so sorry for everything
may GOD keep u under his palm and u get out of tht place in no time.

Anonymous said...

No one knows what it's like
Yet the world pretends like they do
Imagining that this is not my life
I cry, holding it all inside-- cutting myself in two
I am stuck within
Lost inside the void where reality ends
And insanity begins
Refuge I seek-- healing that of which never mends
Refuge, refuge, I'm seeking refuge
Surrounded by those with no intelligence at all
Happiness and anger I constantly confuse
After too much I finally fall
Driving myself to lose it
My world disappears
Suddenly hanging on every minute
Life has confirmed my worst fears
All is lost
I am nothing to anyone
Just a hopeless cause
Damn it all, I'm done.

-Judas Priest

--pearl-- said...

aww ash...hope they aint too harsh on ya..god bless.. hugzz..take care :)

Dewdrop said...

What is this all about? Where are you going? Institution? What kind? Why? Why do you consult a doc?Whats wrong with you? So many qs bothering me. I hope you alright. Just be careful and wish you good luck in whatever you are upto.

Keshi said...

Ash if that keeps u away from harming urself, somehow I'm happy about u going there...call me a bad friend, yeah but I dun want u to kill urself...depression can make one do that though it may sound 'insane' to some uninformed people like the anonymous commentors here. U people who make a mockery out of Ash's genuine and beautiful thoughts, I hope one day u will regret it...just becos u dun have a heart to understand him, that shouldnt make Ash what u call him. Anony commentor above, it's people like u who make us realise that evil exists, and thanks for giving us that opportunity.

Whatever u have to face there Ash, remember I am with ya...I understand ur pain and I understand ur need to be free...free of the clutter that haunts ur mind...but remember amidst all that mess, there is a beautiful world out there...get better, have some peace and quiet and be back to enjoy that.

I'm going to miss ur regular posts...but i know u will be back...take good care mate.
Hugggggggz!
Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Keshi, seeing girls like you makes us realize that we have online sluts too. :)

Ashes, do get well man.

{illyria} said...

oh dear. my best wishes to you, ashes. hope everything works out for the best. i'll still stick around, though, no worries. i'll be here when you come back.

Jim said...

is Judas Priest a priest?

heyy ASHES
i just psychoanayzed u guys on Devile page

Anonymous said...

i tink dats Bull-shit Kesh,
guys like dis need to experience some physical pain

mebbe wid age, he will change

Jim said...

Gosh! Ashes
i just commented widout reading wat u rote

forgive me guys


but ASHES i took the path ur taking now
and i came out healed

if u belive in a God dat loves u
u will be better off

never mind whether u belive it or not
He loves u ASHES

and we all do
u will survive dis
yeah and keep on blogginmg meanwhile

i love u ASHES
i really do

Anonymous said...

G A W D !
did i say dat ?
i sure hope dis guy is not gay


or me

Anonymous said...

International Sex racket Busted - Get the contact details of sex partners in your own area. Shhh!!! Don't tell anyone

Anonymous said...

By the act of entering this site
De.vile
(through the link or otherwise), you swear under penalty of perjury that you have read, understood, and unconditionally agree to be bound by the following statements: * You are 18 years of age or older; * You are not offended by nudity or sexually explicit texts or ideas; * It is legal for you to view and possess material containing nudity or sexually explicit texts or ideas, and that such material is not in violation of the laws, edicts, or standards of your community, state, province or country; * You believe that the First Amendment to the Constitution of India protects materials that include nudity and textual display of sexual expression; * You will not use materials from this site for purposes of entrapment; * That you will not make any material from this site available to minors or anyone who may be offended by its content; * That you will respect the copyright of all material within this site and agree to unconditionally abide by the terms and conditions of use for this site. All material within this site is protected by copyright laws and international copyright treaties, as well as other intellectual property laws and treaties. No material within this site may be reproduced, reposted, transmitted or published, or otherwise reused without the explict written permission of the creator and Cathexis, Inc. We do not like people who take things without asking, and we would love to sue your pants off if you do.

Keshi said...

Im truly touched by FM's comment...that is a beautiful thought to a beautiful friend from a beautiful mind...FM u always understood people so well...u make em feel at home, that's the magic in u...long live FM!

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

keshi i tink i luv u

Anonymous said...

Saby you are a sick bastard. You go after fragile chat personalities like bhaaluu and sebia. These bloggers cannot fight back. So you go after them with vengence. You play mind games with Keshi, write filty comments on Janice's blog, pester pearl, tanvi and rohit with sexual dirt. These chatters have fired back at you which is why you shut up so easily.

You have no respect for others and put on a facade of being an old man with a family. A family man will not spend so much time blogging and wondering whose blog to fill with sex related topics. You are a lone person with a sick mind and its sad that people allow you to comment on their blogs or even laugh at your perverted jokes when not directed at them.

You are a heartless person with no morals. You are another Ted Bundy online.

Anonymous said...

Quite often, our experience of stress comes from our perception of the situation. Often that perception is right, but sometimes it is not. Often we are unreasonably harsh with ourselves or instinctively jump to wrong conclusions about people’s motives. This can send us into a downward spiral of negative thinking that can be hard to break.



Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking and Positive Thinking are simple tools that help you to change this negative thinking.

Anonymous said...

Dearest beti Sebia,

ITCC were resently infomed about your poor Angrezi. You is striktly advised buy this IT community to take good Angrezi lesons and reclaim your grammarly and happy person.

Please let ITCC know when you are back in the blue of Angrezi.

Sincerely and jolly good wishing you a speeding recovery.

irrespektable and erectional,

ITCC

Keshi said...

Ash here's missing ya loadzz n loadzz!

Keeping mah fingers crossed that u return soon...

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

yeh...i second keshi's comment....hope you get back soon!!

diffy said...

ho ho..jerks..they really wish they cud judge ye...they really wish they cud know ye..they’re trying to build a prison...they say they can help ye now??...but we know you are too deep...a lil astray...but why shud ye ever go back ??...jus remember how to smile...we all know... all this bloody..day n nite..earth n sky..rite n wrong ...is so...made believable ..but actually freaking cut n dry...u really can go where none of us can ever imagine to go...

As fer me...promised i wud never shed a tear...one more pormise...i cud never keep..

tc dude..miss ye sunshine 'smiles'

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!


he sure must enjoy under his momma's saree because he doesnt come out of it.lol.

Anonymous said...

'smiles'? hehehe diffy flirtin wid akshay haha long time no see your nick diffy.....

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

ITCCshitt; did you like ur momma's saree? you do look mesmerising inside her saree. lolls!! nice hair and those jewellery and your love strifen pose for ur momma's u-know-what; she must have been a lucky gal that you sing and dance for her underneath. lolls!!

Anonymous said...

wtf is this?I bet keshi flooded this.PLZ for GOD;s sake leave ashes blog.

Anonymous said...

itcc had to put his tail between his legs, fold it up towards his rotten belly and disable comments for now...poor poor mad dog!

Anonymous said...

itcc floods here against himself to make ash angry at keshi. ash is not that dumb as u r itcc lol.

Anonymous said...

itcc why is that no one comments in ur blog except me when I really want to piss u off lol. n now u cant even let anyone (if anyone ever visits ur blog) or myself (the one n only one person who writes anything in ur blog other than u) comment becos u r being flooded like ur village home gets flooded every now n then.lol.

Anonymous said...

keshi is a bitchface who cannot even mask her anonymous comments.

Jim said...

ASHES,
i miss u too
i miss the sane voice of reason

i miss u for no one else tells me wat i need to know about myself


and the whole fucking blogging world misses u


especially some one who has come from hell

De.vile said...

Dont talk about people from hell. We know what we need.

Anonymous said...

hey ashes since u been gone
she been playing the field




come back soon

Anonymous said...

heyyy ashes,
wat the fuck!
who the one wid a sunshine smile ??

ho ho..jerks..they really wish they cud judge ye...they really wish they cud know ye..they’re trying to build a prison...they say they can help ye now??

Ashes,
it's true they can !
dont be ashamed to take help

yr mind is full of depressing tots and dat devile wooman too

you are not too deep, u ass !
but why shud ye ever go back ??

wat u talking about?
the world can be a bytch

but there are a few guys like dat austraylayan who are genuinely concerned

besides she is too dumb to fake it!
u ass am trying to make u smle
wanna improve yr face value

fuck ! rite n wrong
u wanna fuck a camel
go rite ahead

u will find all sorts of animals in Gomey's farm

nutting in rong in fucking a camel
he/she wont feel a ting noing yr ting

pursue yr happiness as long it dont hurt the other
hence dont fuck the mouses who are crapping here
dat wud hurt them tny ass holes


made believable ..but actually freaking cut n dry...u really can go where none of us can ever imagine to go...

As fer me...promised i wud never shed a tear

u ass 'never say never again'
Bond will tell ya

Fuck dont promise !
go by the flow

'...one more pormise...i cud never keep..'

'tc dude..miss ye sunshine 'smiles''
who dis sunshine girl?

tot u were in love wid darkness

Jim said...

OH SHIT!
dat was Diffy
i tot it was u

Keshi said...

Ash came to see if ur bakk...jeeez I miss ya! Come bak soon...

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

http://it-committee-n-community.blogspot.com/2005/03/day-in-life-of-kayshe.html

Anonymous said...

Hi All

I am adorable-. Aap sab log hume IT chat se jante hain. Mein udhar Footloose bhai ka naukar hoon. Jab dada IT chat pe nahi hote hai tab mein ladikoyon ko patata hoon. Koi ladki mere saath sone ki raazi hi nahi hoti. Footy bhai ne kaha ki woh mera maddath karenge lekin abhi tak kuch nahi huva. Mujhe ladikoyon ka anatomy bahot pasand hai especially upar wala anatomy. Abhi tak main maine upar wala part ko chua nahi lekin maan karta hai ki karu. Magar ladki hi nahi milti. Chat pe jata hoon ladki patane ko lekin koi ladki haath mein nahi aati. Koi mera maddath karega? Pls yaaron kuch karo varna mein explode ho jaunga.

Desperate Adorable

Jim said...

heyyyn Ashes,
u seem to be enjoying dis
making all yr lovers pine for u

i feel a lump in my throat too

NOW! cut the wise cracks u guys
i said throat

Jim said...

ASHES,
i really feel blue widout u
only say those 3 lil words

and i will be happy again

Jim said...

SHIT!
its really tuff reading Hindi in the Roman Script

we need BHAALU here

Ashes said...

to one and all--*smiles* it was as if I would never come back.well,i'll get moments like this when I get a day out from the place I am in and I will return back to write more.Those who missed me ..thanks and those who faked it..thanks again.

oh and i'd like to correct the anonymous who said I had cancer.It wasn't cancer..it was a tumor which still is loged in the brain.and one more thing,who the fuck needs girls to sympathize.One needs girls to sleep around.

And saby lol..stop the pretensions.Three words you wanted to hear.Okies I'll oblige--Go FUCK YOURSELF.*smirks*

Anonymous said...

heh....why you justifyin whether you've got cancer or bird flu? heh probably they got bird flu...heh..okay forget that..so you're not back yet huh? well keep 'em comments comin till you're back...take care man...still miss your *smiles*...though you did include one of 'em along wid *smirks* heh....la la la

Jim said...

heyyyyyyyyyyyyy ASHES!
i feel like i am born again
though i never really died

i new all along u never died
u will just trying to get sympathy

ino it really works
it worked for me too

u see dat Kesh was getting too attached to me

and iwas getting too attached to TANVI
until ICEY came along

DAMN! dis world really SUXS
why cant a guy marry Kesh, TANVI, ICEY and Pithaly too ?

widout saying Talaq talaq talaq to julia

and heyy include Carff in dat list too
i just proposed

Ashes said...

smiles@shyamla

Saby--truths hurts eh? okies i'll sugarcoat it and i'll say it" you aren't a bad man,just the circumstances made you an asshole" oh fuck it,hehe i tried being polite..never works.So can't help it Saby..just swallow it.(pun intended)

SSB said...

God bless and keep you safe...we will all pray for your return healed by GODs love.
SSB

Keshi said...

Webbyyyyyyyyy Ash hugggggggz! Even though u might not get a chance to blog often from where u r, plz know that I miss u heaps n that we will be waiting for ur stable return...take care!

And Saby stop being bloody annoying!

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

http://imnutsincapstoo.blogspot.com/2005/07/my-last-confession.html


Saby is still around!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
sohni is bootiful actress, what sey

sbk

3:44 AM


Anonymous said...
, , TANNU , , aa su chale chee !
munne khabar nathi

5:12 AM


Anonymous said...
maru papa nu chee motor gadhi
mara mama nu chee vhodle vhodle mome

5:17 AM


Anonymous said...
, , kidhe sangu go Janeez !, ,

5:18 AM


Anonymous said...
saby, your slanderous comment against our heroine - sohni has been deleted.

ITCC ASSISTANT

7:50 AM


Anonymous said...
hey ITCC where is sebia wall mall..

I hope u did not kidnap her

12:52 PM


saby said...
MISHA MEE SHAAAAAA !
i missed u hunny
where u been ?

2:03 PM


saby said...
i heard SOHNI is replacing Mallika Sherawat

Jackie Chaan wanted more

2:06 PM


saby said...
am not too sure about dis
mebbe its SEBIA

she not in town since long

2:07 PM


saby said...
am hoping to replace Jackie Chaan
He is too short for Sohni or Sebia

2:08 PM

Jim said...

heyyyyyy Ashes,

dont be lured in to the easy life
i no the nurses are pretty

and the food is good
and u dont feel like leaving the place

heyyyy u got to come out from there
as u came out from the womb

its not fair
dat u just relax in there

Keshi said...

o shuttup itcc u just stink now...n mega boring. for a while u existed yeah but now ur just annoying boring crap...just cut it out!

Keshi.

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